My childhood

Pregnant at 16. I was born to my then 17 year old mother in October 1983. We lived with my grandparents, my mother was still in high school. My father, came around from time to time more like every full moon and pretty much was completly out of my life by the age of 2. I had no memory of him at all. I lived my life with my mother, my grandmother and Grandpa. I loved my Grandpa, I considered him to be my male father figure in my life because he was the only man in my life growing up. My mother later meet my sister's father when I was about 4 or 5 yrs old. My sister was born by the time I was 6 yrs old. That was an akward time for me because I was used to life being all about me from the time I was born until my sister arrived. I felt jealousy, and like I was not wanted. That feeling never really went away. I was forced to basically grow up so to speak from the elders in the home. So if I started crying about something, I was being a baby about thing's. Really I felt so alone. The time that was previously dealt to me was now my sister time, my time, my sister's dad's time and my mom's time. I no longer had my mom all to myself anymore. That was hard for me to deal with. But despite how I felt about it then, it has truly moudle me into the person I am today.

I was loved very much by my family but I still felt very lonely. I felt a void that needed to be filled. My sister's dad was there and he was nice to me but he was not my real father so the realtionship I needed to really have with a man growing up never really got fullfiled. My grandpa was also there but like I said before he was a father figure he was in my eyes my grandpa.

He spent time with me, we used to go fishing and crabbing and I got to help him work at his job or I'd go visit him at work. My grand father is really special to me.